What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do you know what she said mum?

Has anyone ever made you take off your shirt?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

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What! how could you do that?

True - how I loved my mum!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

If Russia needs the resources to fund the war in Ukraine, why doesn’t it throw open its doors to visa free western tourism? Enough people would be interested, & it would start to get some hard currency as €, CHF, £, SEK, $, JPY in the tills at shops.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why are people so terrified or bothered that a person has original creative ideas, hobbies or unique interests?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?